Steve Alexander

The Daily Dose

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Ant-Rand & Navin R. Johnson

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

If you are tired of reading about Anthony Randolph, please feel free to skip to Page 2 for Monday's Game News and Notes. However, if you do care about the movie The Jerk, you should probably keep reading.

Navin R. Johnson went through a lot of trials and tribulations in The Jerk. He found love, lost love, made millions, lost millions, found a dog, gave it an amazing name and then lost him, and couldn't understand why a man could have so much hatred for cans of motor oil. It's appropriate that a movie titled The Jerk is where I have chosen to go when discussing the latest Anthony Randolph turn of events, but I'll let you figure out why.

In case you missed it, Mr. Randolph got some run last night and finished with 23 points, seven rebounds, three blocks and three steals, hit 8-of-14 shots and canned 7-of-8 free throws in one of the most lopsided wins I've ever seen in the Association. Kurt Rambis and the Timberwolves must be pretty proud of themselves this morning after getting rocked to the tune of 146-105. The only folks who might be feeling worse are those who gave up on Randolph just before the explosion. In fact, in Navin R. Johnson terms, owners associated with Randolph this year are experiencing one of the following three emotions this morning.

1. You not only still own Randolph, but you somehow had him in your lineup last night. You are walking with a spring in your step this morning and your co-workers are wondering what could possibly have happened overnight to make you so happy after your grumpy performance yesterday.

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! Page 73, Johnson, Navin, R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, you're name in print, that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now."

2. You still own Randolph, but didn't play him. You're content, but still don't really know how to feel, or even understand exactly what you've got.

"I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again…"

3. You finally cut bait with Randolph yesterday and now you can't get him back. You're wearing a wife beater, boxer shorts and a bathrobe.

"I don't need anything except this and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp...Well what are you looking at? What do you think I am, some kind of a jerk or something?"

OK, sorry for that. Here's the deal. Andris Biedrins is out for at least two weeks with inflammation in his abdomen and groin, while Ronny Turiaf remains sidelined with a bad knee. And given the fact that the knee has been bothering him since training camp, Turiaf is not likely to come back and get heavy minutes. That leaves Mikki Moore and Randolph to handle center duties until Biedrins is back, and by then anything is possible with everyone's favorite odd couple, Randolph & Nellie. In short, Randolph is once again a must-own player, but as usual, comes with absolutely no guarantees.

Don Nelson's universe is Seinfeld-ish on a few levels. There's the Bizarro Jerry episode, when a crew with names of Kevin, Gene and Feldman enter the fray and act in similar, yet exact opposite manners of Jerry, George and Kramer. Then there's the one where George realizes that every decision he's ever made is a bad one, so he decides to consistently do the exact opposite of what his mind tells him to. And, of course, suddenly has incredible success in life.

Just when things looked so bleak for Randolph, Bizarro GSW took over and the kid blew up for the kind of game we've all been waiting for. My mind told me not to start Randolph this week, so I went ahead and did it. In other words, if logic dictates that Anthony Morrow is a great play, he's probably not. Now that things could not possibly look better for Randolph's owners, you might as well prepare yourself for the worst. Surely Nellie will find a way to kill our buzz. I'm not going to even try to predict the future, but I will say that Randolph is at least going to be a very interesting and possibly exciting player to own over the next few weeks, if not for the rest of the season.

And yes, despite the fact it is pouring down rain here, and will be until Wednesday, and I had to take three unhappy children to school at 7:30 this morning, I'm the happiest I've been in a couple weeks. Yes, the new phone books are here!!!

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Steve "Dr. A" Alexander is the senior editor for the NBA for and a contributor to The 2014-15 NBA season marks his 13th year of covering fantasy hoops for Rotoworld. Follow him on Twitter - @Docktora.
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