Family FeudWednesday, November 11, 2009
2009 Tales of Fantasy Disappointment
Thanks for all the emails; I didn't expect so many. And don't be mad if yours didn't make it because they were all beautiful (isn't that what they tell kids these days?)
Without further ado, here is the winner:From Nick Garcia:Draft Larry Johnson, I did, I did!
He took the ball and ran and hid
Behind his lineman, he always fell down
And in came Jill and he broke her crown
He pushed and slapped and yelled and spit
And in the end she looked like Owen Schmitt
He eventually decided he run real hard
But all he chased were girls in the bars
In his demented fantasies we all shared
But our fantasy has become a nightmare
Honorable Mentions: From AndresYou, Calvin Johnson. I saved the biggest disappointment for last! We knew the negatives going into the year. You had a Rookie QB, and a bad team. But for God's sake, you produced top WR #'s with Culpepper QBing, and didn't miss games! After game one, you looked completely worth your draft slot, even after the officials robbed you of a TD. Now, you can't get on the field. You have this ultra-elite talent, and it just seems to be wasting away on a lost year. Get healthy, and remember, Megatron is supposed to transform into an amazingly bad-ass gun that could kill God if pointed to the sky. Go be that gun.From Adi Heller:I'm sure you've gotten a couple complaints about Eddie Royal, but mine is special. I drafted Eddie, I thought somewhat reasonably, as a 3rd WR in a league that starts 3 WRs. Obviously, all season he sucked. Lots. And as a Patriots fan with faith in Josh McDaniels' system, I kept starting him and gutting it out through Eddie's suckitude. In week 5, I was finally broken, and benched him - he gained 90 yards receiving against my beloved Pats, so I was convinced he was back. I started him week 6. My opponent (my league rival, and a rematch of last year's championship) was starting the Broncos DST. Eddie, of course, went on to catch 0 passes, and returned two kicks for TDs, giving 12 points to my opponent.
I got a lot of problems with you, Eddie! And now, you're gonna hear about it. You, Royal. Your fantasy performance STINKS!From: Sean PickwickSadly my contribution is going to be neither surprising nor original, but that will not quell my loathing of Larry Johnson. I too was sucked into the preseason hype - "He's totally involved in the team aspect", "He looks so fast, like 2005 all over again!", "His workout regiment is off the charts" - only to watch LJ pitter-patter his way into the backs of his lineman, then tweet his way out of a uniform. Thankfully I play in a 2 keeper, 14 team league so the pick wasn't necessarily devastating, but when Drew Brees is leading your team in rushing TD's after week 7, it tends to shine a bright, glaring spotlight on that pick, one that I defended at my draft against the snickers and dropped jaws of friends and team owners. Never again, LJ, never again.Updated Red Zone Statistics for RBs, WRs, and TEs