1. In which part of Colts OC Pep Hamilton’s job interview did he pledge to funnel his offense through Vick Ballard and play Darrius Heyward-Bey ahead of T.Y. Hilton? Like the Nixon Tapes, these conversations need to see the light of day before we’re all dead and gone from this earth.
2. Do the Steelers practice offensive line and running game injuries? If not, they’ve got an innate ability worthy of scholarly study.
3. On what planet is having Brandon Weeden throw 53 times while Trent Richardson rushes 13 times a recipe for success? If the answer’s out there, it’s millions of light years away.
Stats of the Week
Larry Fitzgerald is already halfway to his 2012 touchdown total.
Anquan Boldin’s 200-yard afternoon was his first 200-yard effort since...his first career game.
Not including the playoffs, Adrian Peterson’s sub-100 yard game was just his second since last Week 6. Peterson ripped off a 78-yard run in the first quarter, but averaged less than a yard (0.88) on his 17 other carries.
Week 1’s leading rusher? Terrelle Pryor, with 112 yards.
The Following Tight Ends Scored Two Touchdowns in Week 1: Julius Thomas, Jared Cook, Vernon Davis and Jason Witten.
Fantasy MVP of Week 1: Peyton Manning threw for seven touchdowns Thursday. Not only was he the first player to do so in the “Age of Fantasy,” but the first since 1969. Manning had four fewer scores than Jake Locker had completions. Four career-threatening neck surgeries are the new market inefficiency.
The “It Gets Worse” PSA/He Is Who We Thought He Is Award: Forget Blaine Gabbert’s hand ouchies or the 30 minutes he happened to look good in an exhibition game against the Jets: This is the quarterback he is. The quarterback who starts a game his team loses 28-2. The quarterback who doesn’t get his offense across the 50-yard line until 52 minutes into the game. The quarterback whose yards per attempt (3.5) was lower than his yards per carry (4.0). The quarterback who’s going to make the Louisville Cardinals the second most popular team in Jacksonville this season.
The Not Yet Ready For Primetime Players: Zach Sudfeld and Kenbrell Thompkins entered Week 1 on a tidal wave of hype. They exit it via the undertow back to sea. That’s not to say they won’t swim back to shore — neither should be dropped just yet. But Thompkins turned in one of the most inefficient performances you’ll ever see, while Sudfeld made no impact whatsoever. Well no positive one, that is. He couldn’t haul in a catchable ball on his lone target, instead coughing it up to the Bills for an “interception.” Thanks to horrendous footwork and the utter failure to corral all but the purest of passes, Thompkins turned just 4-of-14 targets into receptions. Maybe it was nerves, maybe it was bad luck. Whatever it was, it’s likely to have Thompkins with a much smaller role on Thursday. He belongs on fantasy benches for the time being.
Most Absurd Moment of Week 1: Danny Trevathan’s gaffe may well go down the most absurd moment of the season, but what happened on Thursday is already old news. That’s why we’ll have to go with Tennessee’s Darius Reynaud — who entered Week 1 with 86 career kick returns — fielding the ball, stepping on the goal line and retreating into the end zone to kneel. In other words, committing a safety on the first play of the game. The Titans were down 2-0 :03 into the season thanks to a play where no tackle was made. It doesn’t get more absurd than that.
Most Sublime Moment of Week 1: Geno Smith’s toe on the out-of-bounds line being the difference in a game between the dysfunctional Jets and toes-on-the-line Bucs.
Least Valuable Player, Non-Gabbert Division: What does Mark Ingram call nine carries for 11 yards? The performance his entire career has been building toward. It’s time to give up the FLEX ghost.
Fantasy All Pro Team: QB Peyton Manning, RB Shane Vereen, RB Reggie Bush, WR Anquan Boldin, WR A.J. Green, WR Danny Amendola, TE Jared Cook, TE Vernon Davis.
Just So We’re Clear on This: The Steelers not only lost their home opener to the Titans, they lost their home opener to the Titans when the Titans committed a non-contact safety on the first play of the game.
Early Waiver Look
QB: Terrelle Pryor, E.J. Manuel, Chad Henne, Geno Smith
RB: Joique Bell, Fred Jackson, Pierre Thomas, Da’Rel Scott
WR: Julian Edelman, Rod Streater, Kenny Stills, Rueben Randle
TE: Julius Thomas, Tyler Eifert, Kellen Winslow
The David Wilson Playlist: Song 1, Song 2, Song 3.