I’d like to think of myself as a reasonable person who doesn’t get wrapped up in superstitions. Yet, events on Monday made me realize that maybe I’m just superstitious about trivial things.
Fearing the jinx is a pretty ridiculous thing, especially when it comes to things you literally have zero impact on, like high-level professional sports. Still, there are moments when I find myself operating just a few strides short of Robert De Niro’s superstitious father character in “Silver Linings Playbook.”
It doesn’t help when coincidences get downright creepy, either, though.
Let me set the scene for this past Monday.
With Memphis Grizzlies vs. Oklahoma City Thunder tickets in tow, my significant other and I craned our necks to try to watch the remnants of Game 7 between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Boston Bruins on the only TV it was playing on at the Hooters near FedEx Forum.* (Sorry, I know I shouldn’t cheat on hockey, but those tickets were purchased before it was clear there would be dual Game 7’s. Also, Marc Gasol regularly makes a flat-footed mid-range shot, which begs to be seen in person merely to confirm that it isn’t a figment of my imagination.)
Eventually, tip-off was dangerously close for Gristle-Thunder ball. With the Maple Leafs up 4-2 with just a few minutes and change left, it seemed safe to walk over to the hyped-up arena. I might have even said something dangerous like “they should win” or (gasp) “they have it in the bag.”
Obviously that wasn’t the case.
At some point between leaving that bar & grill and getting our tickets scanned, the Bruins had improbably tied it. We tried valiantly tried to establish a decent connection to the radio feed on our two decreasingly smart phones, but eventually just saw the score: 5-4 Bruins.
Clearly it’s all my fault. I’d like to personally apologize to the Maple Leafs organization, James Reimer, his wife, Elisha Cuthbert's rolling eyes and the city of Toronto plus its surrounding areas. I stopped fearing the jinx at the worst possible time.
(Looks out a rain-soaked window while sad piano music plays.)
SLUMPS AND SNAKE BITES
There’s something fitting about Patrice Bergeron being the guy who scored the game-tying and game-winning goals, because I had spent a good chunk of the last week or two pleading with people not to admonish playoff performers who’ve been cursed with the Phil Kessel Early Season Hex of firing a ton of shots on goal without being goalies. Really, when you think about it, it’s especially harsh to beat up on a guy if he cannot solve a netminder who might be playing over his head for a short period of time (see: any Penguins or Capitals player firing shots at Jaroslav Halak in the 2010 playoffs).
Bergeron was a member of that club - to an extent - before he broke through.
Before the third period of Game 7, Bergeron only had one goal on 29 shots, good for about a 3.5 shooting percentage. When crunch time hit hard, Bergeron scored two goals on three shots, rewarding head coach Claude Julien and everyone else who believed in him.
Here's a quick list of guys with high SOG totals but low tallies, to give these guys a little bit of relief through all the "gosh, he's such a choker" grief.
James van Riemsdyk: two goals on 33 SOG
Alex Ovechkin: one goal on 30 SOG
Tyler Seguin: zero goals on 29 SOG
Zdeno Chara: one goal on 25 SOG
Jaromir Jagr: zero goals on 25 SOG
Corey Perry: zero goals on 24 SOG
Rick Nash: zero goals on 22 SOG
John Carlson: zero goals on 21 SOG
Patrick Kane: zero goals on 20 SOG
Some of these guys - a surprising amount of Bruins - will get a chance to rectify their situations in second-round series. Others, especially Alex Ovechkin and Corey Perry, won’t get that chance.
Sports writers and fans might condemn some of those sightless snipers, but you shouldn’t hold this against them when you’re drafting your teams for next season. If anything, it might give them an extra edge, at least early on.
(At least Kessel had a great series, eh?)
Jump for goalie talk
* - We didn’t have any of the husband’s alibi-fueling hot wings, in case you’re wondering.