In this week's edition of Saves and Steals, your nostalgic correspondent will pay tribute to the ephemeral closing era of Manny Corpas, welcome Joakim Soria back to elite status after a one-week furlough and get way too excited by Trevor Hoffman's first week on the job as the Brewers closer.

This week's tiers are brought to you by the by The Lonely Island's oft-hilarious music video catalog. And no, this isn't a transparent excuse to funnel you through parent company NBC's website. As far as you know.


Tier 1: Elite (5) (AKA: The "Iran So Far" Tier.)


Jonathan Papelbon, Boston Red Sox
Mariano Rivera, New York Yankees
Joe Nathan, Minnesota Twins
Jonathan Broxton, Los Angeles Dodgers

Joakim Soria, Kansas City Royals

Comment: Soria suffered the ignominy of a Saves and Steals tier demotion last week. That'll happen when you miss nearly two weeks of the season's first month with a sore pitching shoulder. Soria proved his health over the weekend by blowing away the Twins to the tune of a five-out win on Saturday and a three-out save on Sunday. With the Royals ascending to contender status, and Soria's proven virtuosity, The Mexecutioner is a surefire Top-5 closer.

So too is Broxton, whose fastball-slider combo is to hitters what Manny Pacquiao's left fist is to Ricky Hatton's jaw. Broxton's fastball is averaging nearly 98, which is disgusting enough, to go along with an 87 mph slider. He's struck out 25 in 14 innings, which isn't surprising at all. If you won a fan contest to have one at-bat against Broxton, you'd be wearing Drew Barrymore's facial expression from "Scream" when you entered the batter's box.

Iran So Far is a highly underappreciated nonpareil contribution to the genre. In other words, it's Joe Nathan. Only Nathan can't get away with lines like this about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "You aint wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me/ Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me."


Tier 2: Rock Steady (7) (AKA: The "J*** In My Pants" Tier.)


Heath Bell, San Diego Padres
Francisco Rodriguez, New York Mets
Brad Lidge, Philadelphia Phillies
Matt Capps, Pittsburgh Pirates
Frank Francisco, Texas Rangers
Bobby Jenks, Chicago White Sox
Francisco Cordero, Cincinnati Reds

Comment: Don't look now, but Frank Francisco has better stats than Heath Bell, who got all the pub in the season's first month. Francisco obviously possesses the goods and he is now within sniffing distance of becoming a Top-10 overall closer.

And speaking of Bell, I'd love to say that I wasn't amongst the throng that crowned him Denny Green style before the season was even a month old. But the truth of the matter is that I suffered a Jose Valverde-esque ankle injury while jumping off the runaway bandwagon. I'm having fluid drained from my calf tomorrow. A Rotoworld official confirmed that I should be column ready in about three weeks. Until that time, LaTroy Hawkins will have some big Saves and Steals shoes to fill.

Capps is out until this weekend with "minor discomfort" in his right elbow. He gave up seven earned runs in his last three appearances (2 2/3 innings) and his velocity had dropped, so this should come as no surprise.

A bum knee has bothered Lidge. He still doesn't look right. Have an owner in your league that will overpay for the name? Might want to call him. Like right now.


Tier 3: OK options (7) (AKA: The "I'm On A Boat" Tier.)


Brian Fuentes, Los Angeles Angels
Kerry Wood, Cleveland Indians
Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants
Chad Qualls, Arizona Diamondbacks
Brad Ziegler, Oakland Athletics
Ryan Franklin, St. Louis Cardinals
Trevor Hoffman, Milwaukee Brewers

Comment: I'm On A Boat is better than an "OK option." And although it's pushed to the third tier, you could make an argument that it holds up as well as any music video The Lonely Island has made.

The lesson here, as always, is love your mid-tier closers.

Franklin is tied for fourth in the league in saves and still hasn't allowed an earned run. Wilson, Qualls and Ziegler are all pitching better than expected. Fuentes and Wood have been moderate disappointments through the season's first month, but they have the stuff and the track record to turn it around quickly.

Which brings us to Trevor Hoffman, one of my favorite pre-season closing sleepers. Am I giddy about his return? Did you not expect me to be? Should I stop asking rhetorical questions?

Hoffman, who didn't make his first appearance of the season until April 27, already has four saves. In those five appearances, all of which were one inning, he struck out five and surrendered no runs on three hits and no walks. Leeway would have been granted for the rust factor, but Hoffman didn't require any.


Tier 4: Question marks (5) (AKA: The "Hero Song" Tier.)


Matt Lindstrom, Florida Marlins
Mike Gonzalez, Atlanta Braves
Fernando Rodney, Detroit Tigers
Scott Downs, Toronto Blue Jays
Kevin Gregg, Chicago Cubs

Comment: Have you ever gone to Vegas and found yourself at the Craps table at 1:30 A.M., bleary eyed and delirious, the racing of your heart under the uncertainty of chance being the only thing keeping you awake? Welcome to the world of a Tigers fan. Even my blood pressure spikes when I'm watching a ninth-inning Detroit lead and I don't even like that team. Rodney is like the 5-Hour Energy of relievers.

What to do with Downs? He has been especially superb this season, which is no big surprise in lieu of what he's been doing north of the border for the last few years. Downs is a Saves and Steals favorite who would immediately jump at least one tier if officially named the season-long closer. C'mon, Cito Gaston. It's time.


Tier 5: Rollercoaster rides (6) (AKA: The "Best Look In The World" Tier.)


George Sherrill, Baltimore Orioles
Troy Percival, Tampa Bay Rays
Joe Beimel, Washington Nationals
LaTroy Hawkins, Houston Astros
Huston Street, Colorado Rockies
David Aardsma, Seattle Mariners

Comment: What? You thought I was going Daiquiri Girl here? Too easy.

There was no intention to make Best Look In The World ironically terrible. It was just a waste of time. Like these guys.

The only potentially interesting option is the confounding Huston Street. Street would only qualify as closer material on probably five major league teams. Fortunately he pitches for one of them, ousting Manny Corpas about 10 minutes after Clint Hurdle gave Corpas the job.

Street, to be fair, has put together five-straight scoreless appearances, which is a start. He will never be an elite fantasy option, but some consistency could give him mixed-league relevance.


Injured


Brandon Morrow, Seattle Mariners (15-day DL with biceps tendinitis)
B.J. Ryan, Toronto Blue Jays (15-day disabled list with tightness in his left trapezius muscle)
Jose Valverde, Houston Astros (15-day disabled list with a strained calf)
Joey Devine, Oakland Athletics (60-day DL with a right elbow sprain)

Comment: Morrow is expected back when he is eligible for activation on Saturday.

The Graveyard:
Joel Hanrahan, Washington Nationals
Jason Motte, St. Louis Cardinals
Manny Corpas, Colorado Rockies

Comment: Wipe those tears from your face, Corpas Nation. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.